unit2 Process and reflection

Before I started this unit I did some mind mapping. In this mind map I mainly thought about how to continue the theme of my first unit. In this project I wanted to do something about confined spaces to express some inner pain and was inspired by the exhibition of biological specimens. The biological wrapping of the specimens is a good way to express this feeling of escape and self-protection.

I wanted to experiment with new forms. There is a plan to do a performance art in a confined space. So I thought about what kind of confined space was needed, and in my research and interviews I found that humans or animals in great mental distress tend to hide in a confined space. Then I accidentally walked into a phone booth on a London street. I picked up the receiver and put it to my ear, thinking about what kind of feelings, what kind of experiences, what kind of situations these people were in, who were staying here and picking up the receiver to talk to the phone. It could be uncertainty, fear, pain, despair, sadness, too many possibilities. The ambiguity of the situation is an added incentive for people to talk about it. It is an intimate space that gives people a sense of security to talk about their feelings.

Behavioural attempts

So I decided to make an attempt at a performance in a phone booth. I was standing in a small space in a phone booth and the people outside would keep filling the booth with 165g of paper. I struggled with the paper and struggled with it in the process. The paper crumpled as I struggled, and countless sharp creases cut my skin as I struggled. So I had to stand motionless to avoid being cut by the paper until it filled the whole phone booth with paper. During this process I was in a very complicated state of mind. From the initial desire to panic, fear, sadness and struggle. In the end, the paper cuts me to a state of powerlessness, which is a true expression of my current state. And I wanted to convey that it is very difficult for people to get rid of themselves by struggling when they are in mental pain. More often than not, it is like I am powerless in this painful emotion.

Material adaptation and integration

This is an attempt to use a combination of textile material and red wax, and to try out more possibilities I decided to try burning my painting. In the process of burning, the textile material was left to hang irregularly on the painting. The traces of burning embers on the wood panel give the whole work a sense of fatalism.

In the process of exploring the materials for my work, I discussed with my tutor a number of issues regarding the overall tone of my work. The first is that my painting style is actually quite delicate and aesthetic, and it is difficult to accurately express the themes of death and grief. So I was actually in a very confused state during this period. After talking to my classmates about my confusion, I got the suggestion that it might be a good idea to try to do some out-of-control experiments. Because the feedback I got from some people, including my tutor, was that my paintings and installations were often artificially controlled. This is to a certain extent insufficient or even restrictive in expressing emotions like grief. So when I was thinking about how to break this deadlock, I made the bold decision of what it would be like if I just burned the painting. It takes a lot of courage to destroy a painting that you have spent most of your time working on, it would be like rejecting all the order that you have been following. But in reality I'm not averse to such a change; what an artist should do is to try something different.

So I burned it in the process, and the whole process was like a big funeral for the painting. Watching the fire burn was like a belated farewell ceremony. The fire gave the work a sense of resilience and even a sense of fatalism. It was exactly what I was expecting at the beginning and the reaction was very good. It is a more intense outpouring of grief expressed in a savage way. It is uncontrolled. Sometimes destruction is also a rebirth.

During the second exhibition of this work, I was thinking about how to make the connection between the installations deeper. So I came up with the idea of using coarse salt. The coarse salt is arranged in an encircling shape. After researching the religious histories of many countries, there are records of coarse salt or rice being combined into specific shapes to comfort the dead. So I tried to use coarse salt to scatter a seemingly infinite wrap-around shape on the floor to make the separate installations seem more connected.

The most important meaning in the Christian faith is that the life of a follower of Christ Jesus is likened to the life of salt.

As a believer, salt has a special meaning for me, and I have looked into its various meanings in the Bible and in the history and culture of East and West and meditated on them. In uncovering the qualities of salt it becomes logical for me to think about creation. In the tradition of the ancient Israelite people, God's chosen people, salt represents 'something that will never be destroyed', and its reconciling effect symbolises friendship, so that the salt covenant is a 'never-breaking, everlasting covenant' between God and man. ". In addition to its antiseptic, cleansing and disinfecting properties, salt also means holiness, humility and renewal.

In ancient societies the precious salt also determined the life and death of people. In dry conditions food could be stored dehydrated, but in normal humid conditions bacteria and fungi would quickly destroy stored food and cause it to rot rapidly. In ancient societies where storage was not available, salt was used to preserve food from spoiling and its preservative properties were considered to be 'eternal' in all cultures. The 'salt covenant' was also mentioned in the Old Testament as a covenant that could not be broken:

[Every offering that the children of Israel make to the Lord as a holy thing, I give to you and to your sons and to your daughters who are still with you: this is an everlasting right, an everlasting covenant of salt with your descendants before the Lord].

In many different national traditions, salt is widely used in religious ceremonies and is also often used as altar offerings and sacrificial offerings. For example, in Christianity

In addition, salt should be added to all your vegetarian offerings, and never let your vegetarian offerings lack the salt of the covenant with your God; add to all your offerings the salt offering.
[Offer them before the Lord, and the priest sprinkle salt on them, and offer them to the Lord as a whole burnt offering].
The ancient Greeks, Romans and Hebrews considered salt to be sacred and a storehouse of life. It was added to ceremonial pastries and used in purification rituals. Salt has long been a symbol of purity and holiness. Holy water is salt water, and both substances, water and salt, are blessed by God and can therefore be used to exorcise demons. Salt represents immortality and the devil hates immortality. God had said that salt should be put in all offerings made to him. So the use of salt in baptism is the nemesis of the devil's magical powers.

Collaborative group exhibition experiment

This is a challenge for a collaborative exhibition. It was a challenge to get more key words to combine into an artwork and exhibition. We thought of a performance using a projector. In this experiment we thought about how to integrate resources. The different key words represent different meanings and have different tones. So we wanted to express a subject that receives a lot of noisy information. The projector was used to project on a mountain of white paper. I enter the pile of paper as the subject of the performance and I can only peer out through the gaps in the pile. Notes written by the audience are thrown into the pile. I get the pile of notes with messages on them to read and tear them up and throw them out through the tiny slits. During this process the projection would project my written verses or drawings onto the pile in a continuous loop. These actions are cycled for 15 minutes. The whole performance of the work is intended to reveal to the audience how the artist feels when confronted with the many sounds of the outside world.

An exploration of the written word

I was inspired by the group keyword assemblage exhibition to try my hand at plastering the streets with my poetry in the form of a few written verses. The surprise was that we were doing a small niche exhibition once. I plastered and spray-painted my verses and sad words all around the streets, as I always do, and people actually found my exhibition by following the stickers and verses without me sending any information about the address or the exhibition. This means that they were attracted by these words and texts. This experiment has inspired me to do the following works.

Painting material challenge

I have changed my mind a lot during the continuation of this project. At this stage I began to feel that many of the complicated materials were not really making the most of my project. So I started to think about my original concept. I wanted to go back to the purest form of painting. So I started to think about materials. What materials would suit my style of painting. In the end, I considered a number of factors such as ease of storage and portability. I decided to try painting with fine oil on canvas. After a series of paintings, I was able to achieve the right level of detail, but the feeling was still very different. So I continued to search for materials. I finally found a very old Chinese painting cloth in a feng shui shop in Brighton. Juan cloth is a very traditional and versatile Chinese material for Chinese painting. The fabric is so light and delicate that I felt very much like human skin when I was handed it. This feeling caused me to think about the scars of pain and injury.

So I tried to paint on Juan. I started by painting a person like a broken ceramic. During this time I observed my drawing. What attracted me was the cracks in the shoe like broken porcelain. This made me ignore the person. The cracks were painted on Juan like scars on the real skin of the person. It was so beautiful.

So I had a bold idea of what would happen if I just painted the cracks on this canvas. With this idea I was very excited and immediately realised the idea. When I held it up to the sunlight and looked at it, I found that the material was more transparent in the light, like a huge skin. The cracks on top appear transparent and fragile, showing the skin that is already growing inside the body.

During the curatorial process I discussed my curatorial vision with the curator. In my work I wanted to have a fan underneath that would oscillate back and forth and make a rustling sound to complete the cycle of my work. The curator thought it was an interesting idea, but the space was very limited and there were no fans or other machines available. So we came up with the idea of hanging the paintings in the window. The painting itself is very light and the weather was very good on the day with the sun and a little breeze outside. The breeze was just enough to lift the painting, but not so strong as to damage it. So we decided on this method of display after a trial hanging.

This way of display makes the work look more alive. Through the silk I could see out of the window and I was thinking about the relationship between the space outside and my painting. The only bad thing about this method of display is that you can see the bars of the window and they distract from the viewer. So I wondered what it would be like to hang this work in a completely natural space, a space without any industrial objects.

In fact, after trying so many methods and ways to explore and express, I rethought the meaning of drawing to express the meaning of expression. In reality, the complexity of things may seem shocking at first glance, but after looking at it too much, it will become visually exhausting. This is what I thought when I repeatedly looked at my previous works. So I am increasingly trying to break out of the confines of this idea that more is better. I think about the meaning of the subject matter I wanted to do in the first place and I want to return to the original state of simplicity. I want to return to the simplicity of what I had in mind when I first thought of it, that is, I would draw it directly, often in such a direct and simple way that would stimulate more energy.

To solve the problem of paper being difficult to preserve, I found a material like Juan. This material does not deteriorate greatly even if it is stored for a thousand years, and it is also used in the so-called ancient Chinese paintings that have been preserved for a thousand years. I tried to paint the cracks directly on the juan and found that it was much more difficult to control the painting with a biro than with a brush. During the painting process I had to keep my hand taut to paint the canvas, which is actually a very difficult movement to maintain. But the result was surprisingly good.